Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

When someone is mean or nasty to you like this, it’s not because of anything you’ve done and it’s not your fault. It can have a massive effect on your confidence if you let it, though. When someone tries to make you feel bad like this, it's bullying and it’s wrong.

Bullying is when someone does something to you just to try and make you feel bad. It can happen anywhere, including at home, in school or online. Bullying can come in lots of different forms and it's never okay.

Building your confidence and self-esteem can take time. It's important to remember that it won’t all come at once. A good way to start is by thinking about how you’d want to react if you did feel confident in yourself.

Even famous YouTubers will receive negative comments from people online. You might find it helpful to research how the people you most respect respond to insensitive comments. Seeing what they do can give yourself ideas about what’s right for you.

'Fogging' is a really good way to deal with people who make negative comments towards you. Instead of getting hurt or upset when someone is nasty, you just agree with them without actually believing what they are saying. So if someone says "with a face like yours you will never be famous" you can just reply and say "Maybe, you might be right", but privately you might be thinking to yourself "I know you are wrong".

By just agreeing with the person and staying calm it can often leaving them feeling like there’s no point carrying on. Don’t ever forget that if someone is nasty to you, you’re never doing anything wrong by telling a trusted adult.

You might find it helpful to talk about what’s been happening with a ChildLine counsellor. This could give you a chance to talk about your hopes and how you’ve been feeling without being judged and without being told what to do.

Take care,
Sam