Ask Sam letter


To Sam


Hi Sam!
I'm tired of being an outcast. Everyone around me is much prettier than I am and they're all outgoing while I’m really shy. Loads of people have blonde, straight hair and clear skin while my hair is a horrible brown colour, a bit curly and normally messy and I have acne on a lot of my face. I hate my school because most people only like the people who look nice and they laugh at people not so pretty as them. I have loads of friends but they're all really pretty and they deserve to be model types. I'm shy because of this matter and I'm lowering in self esteem. It's really pressurising and I’ve even cried on my birthday about this. Please help!!
From S*
Ask Sam


Hi S*,

I’m really glad that you decided to write to me. It sounds like you’ve been having a tough time at school lately. It’s wrong of people to laugh at others and it sounds as though you are losing confidence because you are worried about whether others are judging you on the way you look.

You mentioned that lots of people have blonde straight hair and from what you have said it seems that you are not happy having brown hair that’s a bit curly. Difference and variety between people makes the world an interesting place. You have the right to be proud of your individuality.  People can always change their hair colour and straighten or curl their hair, but the most important thing is who you are and how you are feeling on the inside.

You also told me that you have acne. Many people develop acne when their hormones are changing. If you are worried about it you can talk to your doctor who might be able to offer treatments which could improve it.

I’m glad to hear that you have loads of friends at school. It sounds as though you give your self a hard time when you compare yourself to them. It seems like you’ve been getting down recently when you think about what things are like at school.

You said you feel as though it’s really pressuring. Nobody is ever allowed to pressurise you into anything that you don’t feel comfortable with. You might want to think about what kinds of things you can do for yourself to build your confidence and make you feel good about yourself.

The counsellors at ChildLine are always there to listen and support you through what’s happening. You can contact them any time by 1-2-1 chat or by calling 0800 1111. You can have a live conversation about how you are feeling and what you might want to do next. You can also get help and support from your people your own age on the on the ChildLine message boards.

Hope this helps.

Take care,


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