Everything about me, i HATE, and i mean HATE. During Primary school i was bullied and called ugly and that left me shy and scared to meet new people in High school, I'm now in year 8 and i still feel like people would rather not know me and i am socially awkward. My family and me are distant and I feel like nobody likes me even though i have a strong circle of friends, Please help me Sam, It's getting to much, i have so many self-harm scars, and sometimes i feel suicidal. Depression is taking over my life, and i wish i could just be Happy with who i am, not feel fat, ugly and hated :-(
Sam
Hi there,
Thank you for your letter telling me how things are for you. You seem to have reached a point where you dont know what to do with the way you are feeling. I want you to know you have done really well to write to me and I can see you would like some support.
I am concerned that you say you hate everything about yourself, it sounds like things started this way when you were bullied at primary school. No one has the right to call you names and treat you the way they did. You say the bullying left you feeling shy and scared to meet other people and that you still feel like no one wants to know you. It sounds like you have a few things going on, as well as feeling low in self-confidence, because you mention your family and how you feel they are distant from you. It can help to talk to the people close to us that we trust and I wonder if you can have a think about who in your life you feel you can confide in. Sometimes it can be hard to know what to say - writing down your feelings and thinking about what you want others to know can really help you to feel more confident about talking to someone.
You said you have a strong circle of friends, is there one friend you feel you can talk to? Maybe you can have a think about what it would be like to tell a friend. It can help to think about what we would want a close friend of ours to tell us if they were going through something similar so that we can support them. Perhaps your friends would want to be able to do this for you.
I am concerned you say you feel suicidal but it is really good that you have been able to contact me. When things get too much it can make us feel like we have no options. There are always options, even if you cant see it at the time. Things can get better if you get support; ChildLine counsellors are here to help you to do this and they will support you for as long as you need them to.
You say you have so many self-harm scars but I am not sure if you mean you still self-harm. There is some helpful information on self-harm on The Site, which is an organisation that supports a wide range of issues including self-harm.
Maybe you can have a think about talking to a ChildLine counsellor. You can do this either by 1-2-1 chat or by calling ChildLine free on 0800 1111 from any phone. ChildLine are open all the time. Talking to a ChildLine counsellor can help to explore your feelings and help to get things out into the open.
Remember that are not alone and you can talk to ChildLine anytime.
Take care,
Sam
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