Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Dad is aggressive when he drinks

my dad isnt an alocholic or anything like that but he loves his drink more then anything, in an evening (if he isnt working) he will sit down to a bottle of wine and a few beers and maybe some whiskey, he wont drink in the day unless he goes to the pub for a meal or when we are at my grandparents.
when i was like 7 i used to ask him to stop drinking but he said no, when he drinks he comes very aggressive, not voilent but quite scary, and sinse he is tall and fat he does scare me, he always has. its only as im growing up its scaring me more as he is becoming more aggressive and as we already have problems at home this doesnt help.
me and my parents have a really bad relationship, i can be really rude to them but thats only because of all the names and things theyve said to me, i dont want it to get to me anymore.
i've told my school all about this but its hard to try and face, i keep thinking about suicide and/or running away as i really cant take it anymore.
hope you can help
take care xxx
Ask Sam


Hello there,

Thank you for getting in touch and letting me know how difficult things are for you. You’ve done the right thing by talking about what’s going on with your dad.

I can see how you are feeling about the alcohol and the other things you mention, how they are affecting your family relationships and causing you to think about suicide or running away. It sounds like there is so much going on for you at the moment that it might be had to see things clearly or to see a way out.  It can be really hard when those close to us behave in a way that is harmful for them and those around them.  Sometimes the behaviour of others makes us do things we later regret: like being rude, as you mention.

A good website that I recommend to children affected by parents who drink alcohol is NACOA. They offer support to young people who have a parent that drinks. There is also support on the ChildLine message boards where other young people with similar issues offer each other support. There is also information in the explore section about parents and alcohol.

I’m concerned that you are scared about dad’s aggressive behaviour, and it’s good that you have been able to talk to school about everything that happens at home.  Sometimes it can be a good idea to inform people we have already told about our problems, that nothing has changed and they may be able to help us look at new and different ways to change things. Remember that if you ever feel unsafe or in danger at home, that you can dial 999 for emergency help.

You mentioned thinking about suicide or running away, and I would encourage you to talk to a ChildLine counsellor about some safer options and getting some support. They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and you can call them free on 0800 1111, or by having a 1-2-1 chat via their website.

Take care,


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