Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Thanks for your letter.

It’s really positive that you have decided to get in touch to talk about what has been happening for you. Nobody has the right to make you feel worthless and by saying these things to you they are bullying you. Bullying is never acceptable and is not your fault.

Often, over time, bullies can make people believe the things they say and leave people feeling like they have no confidence in any area of their life. This is emotional abuse and you don't have to put up with it. There is a lot of support available to help stop bullying. There are also things that you and others can do to help.

You say that you feel worthless, but everyone is different and has different skills and positive features to offer. It’s really important to focus on the things which you and the people close to you value about you. What do you like about yourself? Sometimes it can be hard to think about this yourself, so you could try asking your friends and family to help, or take a look at www.ru-ok.org.uk for ideas.

Talking to someone can be a really great way to help get the bullying stopped. It can also be really helpful to share with someone how you are feeling. Lots of young people say this helps them to cope. Is there anyone in your life you feel able to talk to? If you don’t feel there is, there is always someone at ChildLine who will listen. 

Even if you do not feel ready at the moment to talk to the people in your life about the bullying, it’s important to know that there is support available when you need it. You do not say where the bullying happens, but it can often be in school or online. If the bullying is online you might find it useful to read our cyber bullying page for more support on how to protect yourself online.

If the bullying happens in school, you might find it helpful to read our bullying page. Your school should have an anti-bullying policy which can help you stop the bullying. I think you might find it useful to look at your school's anti-bullying policy. 

Your teachers have a responsibility to keep you safe, so if telling a teacher hasn’t helped or makes it worse, it’s important to keep telling them so they can keep you safe.

There are things you can do to prepare yourself for talking to someone and to help you stay safe in the meantime. A great place to start is by keeping a diary of all the bullying that happens and write down things like: dates, times, who was around and how you were feeling. This means you can keep a record to show your teachers if you decide to tell them. A diary can also help you to see if there is any pattern to what they are doing so that you can look at ways to keep safe and get away from situations where bullying happens.

If you want to talk to someone, you can talk to a ChildLine counsellor by logging on for a 1-2-1 chat or by calling 0800 1111. It might also help to have a look at the bullying message boards for further support from young people who might also have experience of bullying.

Take care,

Sam