Ask Sam letter


To Sam


Hi there, Sam!
I'm a sixteen year old female. I'm a romantic at heart, and relationships are things that I find really special. I think it's important to have great chemistry and be best friends first, y'know? It's hard to find that relationship, but those are the special ones.
I've had a few long, successful relationships with males but I'm almost certain that I'm bi-sexual, and recently I've been a bit eager to see what it would be like to be in a committed relationship with another girl.
Thing is, I live in a small, pretty old fashioned area with few people. We all know each other. There are no bisexual or lesbian girls, and even then, being compatible is something that's important to me.
Do you have any tips on how to meet new people? Well, most important, do you have anything to say for people who may be getting into a same-sex relationship for the first time?
Thanks so much for reading! :)
Ask Sam


Hi there,

I’m glad you thought of writing to me. You sound like a person who values relationships and friendships. I know it’s very normal for young people to think about their sexuality as they move from the teen years into adulthood.  

You seem to be saying you’d have to go outside your community to meet a bisexual or lesbian girl and you’d like ideas for how to go about that. You mention that the area you live is small with old fashioned values but it could be important not to assume everyone has the same sexuality. In many communities it’s likely that there are people with different sexual orientations.

I understand you might really want to see what a relationship with a girl would be like, but often finding the right person can take time. There’s no set formula. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to find someone you are compatible with. You could do this by joining clubs, starting new hobbies or volunteering somewhere. Anything that lets you meet new people around your age would be a good start.

It sounds like if you start a relationship with another girl you want it to be a full, compatible relationship, rather than just a sexual encounter. The most important thing is to meet someone in a natural and safe way. One thought is that in some parts of the country, there are LGBT youth groups, and you could research whether there’s one in your area.

We have some more information about understanding your sexuality but you could also check out the Young Stonewall website which has loads of information which may help you as well. It may also help you to take a look at our sexuality message boards.  

I hope you’ll think about talking to us more about this so we can explore what’s on your mind more and give you as much support as you’d like.

Take care,

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