Ask Sam letter


To Sam


Im curious about girls but i dont know any girl who would want to go out with me  i have a friend who is bi but she has been my friend for ages and im afraid to ask her out because she might reject me and it would get awkward between us  what should i do?
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for writing to me. It sounds like you’ve realised that you’re attracted to girls and want to find out what it would be like to act on those feelings.

I can hear that it feels frustrating you don’t know any girls who would want to go out with you. You haven’t said how old you are, but it can sometimes take a while to find the right person for you. It can be difficult to be single sometimes, particularly when everyone around you seems to be part of a couple. Relationships can take a lot of time and effort, so they work best when they are with someone that you like, respect and feel attracted to, and who feels the same way about you.

You said that you know your friend is bisexual and that suggests to me you can talk to each other fairly openly about sexuality. I get the sense that you care a lot about your friend so I can understand that you’re worried it might affect your friendship if you asked her out and she said no. Maybe it would be a good idea to take things slowly with your friend by taking generally about you being bisexual. That way you can see if she gives you any hints that she might be interested in you as more than just a friend, before you decide whether to ask her out or not.

Telling someone you like them always involves a bit of a risk. That risk is always bigger when it’s someone you’re already friends with, as you’ve got more to lose. Only you will know if a particular person is worth taking a risk for. If you do really want to be with someone, then telling them is the best way to go about making it happen!

Sometimes it can be really nice just to hear that other people have had similar experiences and it can be useful to hear what other people have found positive and what has helped them. You might want to check out the Sexuality message board which is a space for young people to share their experiences and advice. There is also LGBT Youth who are a service for young people who are thinking about their sexuality.

Please remember that the counsellors at ChildLine are always here to listen and support you. You can speak to them by calling 0800 1111 or logging in for a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,


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