Ask Sam letter


To Sam

am i bi

hey, my name is E**** and i am 14 years old. I just want to let you know that anything i say in this letter i dont want to sound rude. Um. so i have a boyfriend, and recently ive been thinking. i think im bi. i dont want to sound rude here, but i think id do 'stuff' with a girl but i dont think id like actually date one. i dont know if its normal. i dont know if im straight or bi but i really want to tell my boyfriend but he usually makes not nice remarks about lesbians and gays. so yeah i cant stop thinking about it. i dont know if im straight or bi...
Ask Sam


Hi there,

I don't think talking about your sexual feelings is rude. Here at ChildLine, we want you to get support with everything and that includes sex, sexual feelings and sexuality. It’s important you can explore these feelings. And ChildLine is a safe place for you to talk this through.

It’s natural to think about your sexuality as you start to develop sexual feelings. Some people feel really sure about their sexuality, while other people take time to work out their feelings. Feelings you have for a particular person can make things confusing.

Being bisexual means that someone is attracted to both sexes. But people experience this differently. It depends on your own experiences and feelings. Some may be open to a relationship with either sex. Others might want a relationship with one sex but only think about a physical relationship with the other sex. And there can be lots of variation in between.

It can be really confusing working out our feelings when we’re happy in a relationship with someone of one sex, but also thinking about possible sexual experiences with the other sex. There’s no right or wrong way to feel or to experience relationships. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable in any relationship or sexual experience you have.

It seems like there’s a part of you that would like to tell your boyfriend about these feelings. It can help to think more about what you’d like to happen if you talk to him, and how you feel it may impact on the relationship. If you’re not sure how he’ll react, planning what you will say first using assertiveness skills can really help to feel more confident. If your boyfriend were to make comments about your sexuality that make you feel uncomfortable, this could be classed as bullying. You deserve to feel cared for, supported and respected in your relationship.

It can be scary and confusing, but lots of young people question their sexuality. Some people also find it helpful to talk through their feelings with a ChildLine counsellor. They will you the space and time to talk through your feelings openly. This is not something you have to go through alone.

Take care,

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