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Hi,
Thank you for writing your letter and explaining what you have been going through. It sounds like things at home have been really tough.
Your parents shouldnt be treating you in the way you describe. All families argue sometimes, but saying that that they hate you and that their life would be easier without you is not OK. What you describe could be called emotional abuse, and like any kind of abuse its very wrong. You deserve to be treated with respect, care and affection, especially at home.
It sounds like the things your parents say make you question whether you should change as a person. I want you to know that you dont have to believe the things they say about you. It sounds to me like you are a very strong, brave and intelligent person to be able to keep going, and even achieving straight A grades, despite how tough things are at home. Perhaps you could have a look at the page on building confidence and self-esteem for some ideas on how to boost your self belief.
I can hear that youve thought a lot about running away to stay with your friend. Id be really worried about you doing this. At 14, you cant legally leave home without your parents permission. If your mum and step-dad reported you missing, the police could come and bring you home again. I also wonder how youd manage to keep going to school and get the qualifications you need to get where you want to go in life. There are other ways that you can resolve this and find a better life for yourself, without leaving behind everything you know.
It seems like you might need some support from someone who can help you stand up for your right to be treated fairly. Could your friend maybe support you in getting help where you are now? Can you think of any relatives that you get on well with who might help and support you? How about a teacher in school?
Another option might be talking to social services. I realise that can be a scary thought, but social services are there to help make sure that young people are safe and well looked after at home. Sometimes they will work with families to help them stay together and sometimes they will need to find young people a safer place to live either while things change at home, or for longer.
Please feel free to come to Childline for more advice and information about this. You can send an email, call 0800 1111 or you can log on for a 1-2-1 chat. The counsellors are always there for you.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.