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To Sam

My brother

Hi Sam. I'm 14 years old, I am the eldest of four children. Although it's cool but stressful too. My 10 year old brother has been diagnosed with Autism, & his older by 2 hours, identical twin brother is not autistic and people think it's him with the autism. My 6 year old and only sister is worried what people might think of our brother. I hope though my brother’s autism doesn't put a stress on my parent's marriage with them marking their 15th (crystal) wedding anniversary in October.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

When brothers or sisters are diagnosed with being on the autistic spectrum, it can take time to get used to it. It might feel hard at home as everyone adjusts.

It’s natural to want your parents to have a special anniversary as it’s nice to see them happy and celebrating. It could help you to think about the way things look from your parent’s point of view though. They may not see it as being any additional stress for them.

Autism is part of what makes someone who they are. Your brother and his personality hasn’t changed because he’s been diagnosed with autism. It only helps to understand what extra help and support he may need. The way your family has grown together hasn’t changed because of this diagnosis.

It sounds like you might be stressed by the way things are. And it’s important to get help for yourself as well as everyone in the family. You should all feel comfortable with autism and what it means. If your brother needs extra support you could talk to your mum or dad or another trusted adult so that he gets the support he deserves.  

If you wanted to talk some more about this then our counsellors are there to listen and support you or any of your siblings who want to talk. There’s also some advice on the Autism website about what sort of changes your family might need to make when a sibling is on the autistic spectrum.

Thanks for the letter, take care.

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