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To Sam

I'm so scared. My dad has terminal cancer.

My dad has had terminal cancer for a few years now and I've got to the point where I don't know what to do of course I was upset when I first found out  but now I'm just clueless. And lost. I'm scared something awful is going to happen and I just want it all to get better but I won't because now matter how much research I do or how much I hope nothing is changing, it's just getting worse. I'm so scared, I can't do it. It could have been avoided, and I know I shouldn't blame anyone but its true, it's the doctors fault. He's had lots of cancer before so he's had lots if chemotherapy. But his body couldn't cope with all the white blood cells going into his body, he has too many, of they'd only taken another course if treatment he might not have what he has now, which is incurable. As more time passes the more terrified I become. Please help me, I don't know what to do.
Anonymous me x
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Thanks for writing into me.

I can hear that things are difficult for you and your family and it's understandable that you will be going through a variety emotions, feeling lost and as time goes on that feeling that something awful is going to happen. It can be really hard to deal with these feelings, particularly when it's over a long period of time, it is important for you to know that you do not have to deal with this alone.

When a parent is ill it can be difficult to know how to cope and to know what to do next, it is ok to need some support with this, as at times it can be hard to cope alone. Some people may feel that they do not want to put pressure on a sick parent but many parents who are ill still want to be involved in their children’s lives - they really want to hear how their children are feeling and it's important you can have this conversation. Although things are difficult and changing, it can be helpful to look at realistic ways of having a normal family life as well. In your message it doesn’t say if you have spoken to anyone about how you are feeling, this could be someone in your family including dad - as you may all be going through similar feelings and emotions and you could support each other through this time.

Riprap is a great website for young people whose parents have cancer. It has lots of advice, information, and other young people sharing their experiences, you might find that their are people going through a similar experience to yours.

If you'd like to, you'd be very welcome to talk to a ChildLine counsellor. You can contact them either on a 1-2-1 chat, for free on 0800 1111 or you can send an email.

Take care,

Sam

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