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Hi,
Thanks for your letter and well done for deciding to get in touch. Im really concerned to hear that youve been skipping meals over the last month and sometimes going without food. At 13 your body will be going through all kind of changes as you grow. This means its really important to get the nutrients you need from food so your body can function, develop properly and survive.
Its important to get medical advice (from a doctor or nurse, for example) before you lose weight. Losing weight can be quite dangerous for a young person. It sounds like youve been feeling quite low physically. When someone isnt eating enough or getting a healthy and balanced diet it can put their health at risk.
It sounds like your mum hasnt understood how serious this problem really feels for you. You might want to think about telling her more about it in a letter like the one you have written me. There may be another adult that you trust who you could try to speak to. This might be a teacher or your school. You might find it helps to read our tips on asking an adult for help.
It might be an idea to think about whether anything happened or changed when you started to feel this way about food or your body. Youve told me that although you know you are an average weight, you cant help but think you are larger than everyone else. Sometimes when someone has developed a problem with food it can make it hard for them to see themselves as others see them. This can make it hard to know when the eating problem is getting out of control. We have a page about anorexia and the NHS has some information about eating disorders which you could check out
Youve talked about comparing yourself to every girl out there. Its important to remember that all people come in different shapes, sizes and colours. Our differences are what make the world an interesting place to be in. We are all attracted to different kinds of people both personality wise and also looks wise. How we look when we are 13 will be different to how we look when we are 18, 21 and so on. Throughout your life you will always be changing both in the way you look physically and the way you present yourself with your style and personality as you grow up and find yourself.
It could be interesting to imagine what life might be like if you were no longer worrying or thinking about your weight. Think about how you might be feeling, what you might be doing differently and who might notice. Eating healthily and getting a balanced diet along with exercising can help you to feel a lot brighter both physically and mentally. The NHS website has a great page about healthy eating for teens which could help.
Remember that you are always welcome to come and talk to a ChildLine counsellor any time. You can do that via 1-2-1 chat (a bit like instant messenger) or by calling us on 0800 1111 (free even from a mobile and it wont show up on your bill). ChildLine also has pages on eating problems and message boards where you can find support from other young people.
I hope some of this helps.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.