Ask Sam letter


To Sam

I really love my mum

I feel like I love my mum too much. I always want her to accompany me to places and when she's at work I miss her really badly. Not many people my age are like this. I am not very close to anyone else and she is my best friend.

What worries me the most is that I sometimes think of what I would do if she died. I sometimes worry something will happen to her and I love her more than anything so if she died I would die too. I know one day she will have to die, even if she dies after me the idea always makes me cry.

Thank you

Ask Sam


Hi there,

It's natural to feel close to the people we love, and it’s understandable you might worry about the future. There’s nothing wrong with loving mum and although we can never know what the future holds, that makes it all the more important to cherish the time we do have with the people we love.

As we get older we come to realise that one day people that we care about will die. It’s not nice to think about, but it’s a fact that everyone has to face – and that death is a part of life. Just because it’s something that will happen, it doesn’t mean that we have to let those feelings affect us now.

Some things are good to worry about, as they help us recognise what’s important to us. But we have to make sure those worries don’t affect everything we do or make us unhappy. It’s also important to recognise that there are some things we can control and worry about, but many things are out of our control – such as death. Worrying about something we can’t change or affect is usually not helpful for anyone, but especially yourself.

Talking to mum could help work through these feelings. You could write them down if you are unable to talk to her. This could help you deal with the attachment you feel towards mum and she may be able to help you make new friends and find hobbies to fill the times when you miss her. Looking for groups in your local area is a good place to start.

School may have groups that you're interested in, if not, ask about starting some. This is a way to meet people with similar interests to you and start new friendships.

Our counsellors are trained to listen and support you if you would like to talk about anything.

Take care,

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