Ask Sam letter


To Sam

i don't want to live with my parents PLEASE HELP ME

about 1 year and 1/4 ago my mum told my dad she wanted to seperate which i was happy about, because my parents were always drinking and getting drunk every night. i was about 11/12 at the time. ( i am 13 now). me, my sister and my mum moved into a new, rented house and we were happy. my mum rarely drunk anymore. my mum met someone new but he wasn't from our city so he visited us. my mum has recently told us that she wont be seeing him again and that we'll be moving back to where my dad lives because they're getting back together. we stayed there for one night last week and they both got drunk, which i wasn't surprised at. they're going on holiday with my older sister in the february half term and i dont want to go there either because i HATE spending time with them and i HATE being around drunk people. i really dont want to live with them. is there a way i can live with my grandma? or someone else in the family? i really dont mind as long as im not with them. i  honestly wouldnt mind being fostered. please help.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

It can be really difficult when parents make choices about their relationships that you don’t agree with. When you are happy with the way things are in your life, hearing that they will change can be scary. It might feel like lots of things are changing and you have no control. Talking to someone you trust could be a way to help you cope with these feelings.

If you are not happy at home, it may be possible to live with a different family member like a grandparent. One way to arrange that could be to talk to your family members and organise it between yourselves. If that doesn’t feel like an option for you, you can talk to your local social services office for their help. It is not possible for me to say what they will do, and it's sometimes a good idea to plan a conversation like that if you decide it is something you want to do.

Perhaps you could think about talking to an adult you trust in your life first. It might be a way to help you think more about these options. Our page on asking an adult for help has some ideas and information that could be helpful.

Living with someone who drinks can be really hard. Sometimes people’s behaviour changes when they have been drinking and that might have a negative impact on you. It might be useful to have a look at our parents and alcohol page which has some ideas about how to cope.

ChildLine counsellors are always available to talk to and offer you support. You can talk to a counsellor by calling for free on 0800 1111, sending an email or logging on for a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter