Ask Sam letter


To Sam

I can't handle my mam

Me and my mam argue every week but it's not like regular mother daughter arguments; it usually results in me getting kicked out and threatened. I can always go to my dads or aunties .

its getting out of hand though, she's always saying mean things about my dad and trying to convince me he's the bad guy and a horrible person but she comes home drunk and starts shouting at me and threatening me and crying. The last time she did it in front of my boyfriend and started having a go at my boyfriend so I walked out with him and we walked to my dads in the middle of the night. It was embarrassing and really upsetting for me.

im only 15 so I don't have enough money to move out but I want to move in with my dad and I'm not sure what I should do because he might not be able to afford it. Could you help me?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your message telling me about the relationship you have with your mum.

I want you to know that it’s not okay for your mum to threaten you and kick you out.  It’s good that you have somewhere to go like your dad's or your auntie’s. You are your parents’ responsibility and your idea of moving in with your dad sounds like it could be a good solution. 

If you haven’t already, perhaps it would be a good idea to talk to your dad about the way things are at home with your mum and explain that you would like to move in with him and see what he says. Money is important when changing where you live and it would be good to think about this with your dad if you feel it might be an issue for him. Your dad could check with his local tax office and social security office what he might be entitled to in the way of benefits and tax credits if you move in with him permanently. You might also like to suggest that your dad contacts an organisation like Family Lives, who would be able to give him more advice.

You said that your mum has embarrassed you in front of your boyfriend and I’m wondering if you have been able to speak to your boyfriend about the way you feel about it all. It seems like he might also feel embarrassed and upset that you are being treated this way by your mum. It’s really good that he supported you on that occasion and made sure that you got to your dad's safely.

After reading this reply you might like to talk more about everything that's going on. I would like to encourage you to talk to a ChildLine counsellor. You can talk to them by calling 0800 1111 (for free), logging on for a 1-2-1 chat or by sending them an email

Take care,


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter