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To Sam


My aunt died on December 1, 1012 and I can't get over it, when she first died everyone said that I could talk to them about it but I knew I couldn't, if I were to tell them how I feel they would hate me. Truth is I'm mad at her she left me, she was only 33! Now she won't be here to watch he nephew grow up. She won't be here to watch any of us grow up. Since she died my pet cat, my pet dog, and my grandpa have died too. I just feel like the universe keeps kicking me down and  won't let me get back up. I've wanted to talk to someone it's just everybody has already greived, but I had to stay strong for them. I guess I never really grieved. Please help.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

I’m really glad that you wrote to me to tell me about the loss you’ve experienced and all the feelings that go with that. Although I can hear that losing your aunt has been a massive loss, I can see that you’ve lost other family members (I know that pets are part of the family too and their deaths can be just as upsetting sometimes). From what you’ve said, it seems like you’ve felt you need to stay strong for other people and this has meant that you haven’t had the support that you need to grieve for your aunt and other loved ones.

I talk to lots of young people who talk about feeling angry at the person who has died. It’s a really common feeling for people who are grieving. But I also understand that it might feel like it’s not okay to tell people you feel angry. Sometimes other people might not understand that your anger is about how much you miss the person you’ve lost, and how much you want them to be with you. I can hear that you’re angry at your aunt, but you also love her very much and that seems like a really difficult position to be in.

When grieving for someone, it’s common to only be able to think of the things that you won’t be able to do with them anymore or the things they’ll never get to see. It’s okay to think about things but it’s also important to let yourself remember all of the good times and experiences you shared. There’s a website for a charity called Winston’s Wish which you might find helpful. They support young people who are experiencing loss.

I understand that you feel really low at the moment and that life isn’t giving you a chance to get back on your feet. ChildLine counsellors are there to support you with issues like grief and loss and they could help you do the grieving that you feel you haven’t done yet. It’s always okay to call ChildLine on 0800 1111 or log on for a 1-2-1 chat. We also have a message board specifically for bereavement issues. Maybe you could check out what other young people are saying about their experiences and tell them about yours?

I hope you find the support you deserve. Thank you again for writing to me.

Take care,

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