Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

Family

M sisters disabled and gets attention and I get jelous easy. I'm 12 and don't know what to do, I'm crying. I may look happy but inside I'm crying. What do I do??
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Having a sibling (brother or sister) with disabilities can be really difficult. It’s important to have a chance to talk about how you feel. It seems like you try to act as though you’re feeling alright but you’re unhappy inside. 

It’s a good idea to let your parents or carers know how things are affecting you. I noticed that you said you get jealous of your sister getting attention. It can be hard when we feel left out or ignored when other people are put before us. But it's also normal to feel jealous sometimes.

Perhaps you could think about what sorts of attention you’d like. You could say to your parents: “I would like you to spend some more time with me to help me with my homework” or “I would like it if we could play a game together”.

It is also important to recognise that people who have a disability have different needs. Sometimes they may need the help of other people to do some things like getting around or eating. It will depend on what type of disability they have.

If you’d like to talk more about how having a sister with disabilities is affecting you, please remember that you can talk to a ChildLine counsellor any time. They’ll always be there to listen to you. Don’t forget that you can also use our message boards to share your experiences and get advice and support from other young people. You don’t have to go through this on your own.

Lots of people with disabled siblings (brothers or sisters) have difficult thoughts and feelings. You might find it useful to check out a site called Young Sibs for more information about the support available. 

You did really well to write this letter to me and share your feelings so honestly. I know that there'll be other people with a sibling with disabilities reading this and your letter will help them feel less alone too.

Take care,
Sam

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