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To Sam


I think that my mum has derpression but whenever I ask her or say anything she says it is because of me and my brother. I really don't know what to do because she doesn't want to g to te doctors or want tablets. I told my friend but I'm scared she will judge me an my mum or tell somebody. It's the same reason I haven't told a teacher or they might think I am exaggerating but she crys all the time.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for writing to me and telling me about how things are for you. It sounds like you feel really worried about how your mum is feeling and also that she doesn’t seem to want to get any help. I can hear that you are also feeling very alone with these worries as you don’t feel able to talk to anyone. It sounds like you might be scared that they might judge you or not believe how bad things actually are. You have done the right thing by writing to me - you don't have to go through this alone. It sounds like a lot for you to cope with and you deserve to get the support which is right for you.

It sounds like your mum is suffering from depression and you have tried to talk to her about this. This is really brave of you and it seems like it was not an easy thing to do. You said that she blames you and your brother for how she feels. That sounds like an upsetting thing to have to hear and it’s not okay for your mum to have said this. Sometimes when people feel down they can blame the people that are closest to them but this does not mean that it is actually their fault. It's important that you get support with how this has left you feeling.  If you ever want to let out your feelings and talk to someone then you can always contact ChildLine.

You have also said that you don’t know what to do to help your mum. I can hear that you really want to support her but I can also hear that your mum doesn't want to see a doctor. This sounds like a lot for you to cope with on your own. I’m wondering whether there is another trusted adult that you can talk to about your mum's feelings and what home life is like for you?  Perhaps a grandparent or one of your mum’s friends could help? You should not have to cope on your own. 

I can hear that talking to your friends about this makes you feel uncomfortable and possibly judged. You are right that it is important to trust someone before you decide whether or not to tell them something that is important to you. Perhaps you could think about what your friend has been like in the past when you’ve told her something that’s important to you. You could start by telling her something small and work up to telling her more if you want to. 

You also said that telling a teacher makes you feel worried about being judged. Teachers should be there to help you. Perhaps there is a specific teacher that you trust. Lots of schools have counsellors so maybe you would feel more comfortable talking to them about how things are for you? If you feel unsure about what you want to say or how to tell someone then the counsellors at ChildLine could help you work out something that feels right for you. 

If you want to talk about any of this in more detail and in private, please contact the counsellors at ChildLine. You can ring 0800 1111 which is a free call from most landlines and mobiles in the UK, send an email or log on for a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care

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You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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