Ask Sam letter


To Sam


One of my really close friends is having a sleepover, and she's invited all of my other friends, but not me. They are constantly talking about it and I feel really left out. I thought we were good friends, but now I'm starting to have doubts. What should I do? Is our friendship party because of this?
Ask Sam


Hi J*,        

I’m glad you’ve written in as it sounds like the situation with your friend is really upsetting you. I know it’s something that lots of young people will have experienced as well.

It sounds like your friend not inviting you to her sleepover has made you feel left out and questioning what you thought your friendship was. However, it also sounds like you have no idea why your friend hasn’t invited you. Perhaps your other friends are not aware of this as they keep talking about the sleepover while you’re there. 

It seems like you have a few options at the moment. One is to ask your friend directly about the sleepover and the reason she hasn’t invited you. This may be difficult and you may not get the answer you want, but it should mean that you will know where you stand as friends. Another option is to leave things as they are but by doing this you may get more upset and feel more excluded. You may still not be sure what happened and what your friend’s reason was.

Having a conversation with your friend about this may not be an easy thing to do and working out what to say and how to say it can be quite difficult. I know that the counsellors at ChildLine have helped lots of other young people work through what they want to say and would be happy to help you work this out. Talking to them can help you to see your situation more clearly.

You may also need some support with what happens if you tell your friend, or coping with it if you choose not to. ChildLine counsellors are always here to talk to you. You can call ChildLine free on 0800-1111, or you can log-on and have an online 1-2-1 chat, or you can send an email. 

In the meantime, take care,

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