Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

School loneliness

Hi Sam, I’ve never done one of these before but here it goes. I’m in year 11 at school and I have no friends at all and only now it’s started to hit me. I’m struggling to cope at break and lunch because I’m all alone and all I can do is think about what is so wrong with me that everybody leaves and then it leads to me blaming myself. I’m trying to think of things to go to distract myself but I can’t really think of anything. Thank you, Blue.

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Feeling lonely is something that that a lot of people can experience. Sometimes feelings of loneliness can last for a short time and sometimes they can last longer. If you're feeling alone or isolated then there are ways to build your confidence and make friends.

Loneliness and feeling isolated can lead to feelings of sadness and distress about being by yourself and may leave you feeling disconnected from the world around you. It can be easy to blame yourself for being lonely but there are things you can do to start feeling better.

There might be lots of reasons that you're finding it hard to make friends. Many people can also feel lonely because they're feeling left out in a friendship group or don't feel that close to their friends.

Blaming yourself can lead to negative thoughts, which can affect your confidence. It can be hard to build confidence and self-esteem, but it’s achievable. Small steps can often lead to big changes and you don’t have to do it all at once or on your own. Breaking out of the cycle of loneliness affecting confidence is really important.

You might try some new things to make friends. Whatever your hobbies are you can join a club to meet people while also having fun. Making friends can be hard but we have some really good advice on our website that may make this easier for you.

It's important that you feel you have the support that you deserve and our Childline counsellors are always here for you.

Thank you for your letter and take care,

Sam

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small.

Write me a letter