Hi.
im deaf. I go to a normal school and i try to be everyone's friend and try to help them all. But whenever i need help I never get any. I'm in year 9 and taking my options soon and I'm focusing on my education for now but just want to be happy and be myself around my friends. how do gain friends and get them to help?
Hi there
Thank you for your letter telling me how things are for you.
You have done so well to get in touch. ChildLine are here to support you anytime you need to talk. It sounds like you are helpful to others at school but when it comes to needing help yourself, you feel you dont get any. I can see you really try with others at school when you say you try to be everyones friend. That is something to be really proud of so well done. You say you just want to be happy and be yourself around your friends. Please know that you have a right to be yourself and to feel supported by others.
Youve told me that you are deaf but that you go to a mainstream school. Its not unusual for deaf students to feel quite isolated if the people around them dont understand how to communicate with them effectively. I wonder if you think this might be happening for you. If it is, are there are any adults at your school who could help your classmates feel more confident about chatting with you? The National Deaf Childrens Society (NDCS) has a great video called The Bubble Effect about a young deaf persons experience at mainstream school. The NDCS also have some ideas on their website for meeting new people and starting new activities or clubs.
Some people have lots of friends they can rely on and others only have one or two. I wonder if there is one friend in particular you feel closer to at the moment. If there is, perhaps you could consider telling him or her about you feeling unsupported at the moment? Is there anything specific youd like your friends to do differently? It might be that they need you to explain to them what sort of help you would like.
If you want specific help with something like school work then perhaps you could think about asking for support from a teacher or another adult at school. If youre finding school work hard, its important that your teachers know. You might also want to talk to other young people via the message boards. There are several threads on the boards already from young people sharing their experiences of being deaf. If you are looking for some support with something other than school work, you could think about contacting one of the ChildLine counsellors. The things you tell the counsellors can be kept confidential and you can get support from them in many ways, including 1-2-1 chat and email.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.
