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To Sam


last year i really enjoyed indoor rowing and was in the top 30 of the country for my age. this year i really don't want to do it and hate it. the school put me on the team an my parents are not letting me give it up. my mum went into school to ask the rowing teachers about it and they said they had put to much effort into it and i had to keep doing it. today i had rowing and i felt sick before and only i was changed and sitting on the ergo i felt really sick. i spent the rest of the session sitting in the changing room crying because i really want to stop rowing. i told my parents what happened and how i felt about it but they said they were dissopointed in me and i had to keep doing it. i really hate rowing but my parents and the school told me that i had to do rowing. i also do gymnastics and want to focus on that but i dob't know what to do cause all i think about is how i want to quit rowing and how much i hate it.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

It’s really difficult when we feel we have to do something we don’t enjoy. Especially when it’s someone else who is putting the pressure on us. Sometimes there are things in life we have to do even when we don’t want to, like go to school or take exams. But as rowing is something you do in your spare time, it’s not something that anyone should force you to do.

It’s really positive you felt able to talk to your parents about how you feel. Often explaining your thoughts about a situation can help others to see what is important to you. It seems like they weren’t able to fully understand your feelings and you have still been left feeling forced into it. It could help to ask your parents for a clear reason why they want you to continue

It may help to write down all the reasons that you don’t want to do rowing anymore. This will make it easier to explain it to your parents, as you’ll have something prepared. Sometimes it can also help to use assertiveness skills to help other people understand how we’re feeling.

It could also help to talk to an adult you trust, like a teacher at school or another family member about how you’re feeling. They might be able to talk to your parents about how you are feeling on your behalf.

It may help to also come up with some reasons why you feel gymnastics may be a good thing for you to continue. This will help them see the positives of your situation, rather than just focusing on giving up something they want you to do.

I can hear that having to continue rowing is making you feel really upset, and this is something that you could talk this through with a counsellor in more detail. They can help to explore more about how you feel, and how you could talk to your parents and teachers.

Take care,

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