Ask Sam letter


To Sam

new school

Hey sam  i really need some help .. erm I'm just starting a new school tomorrow and im really nervous and super scared.. im pretty shy especially when it comes to meeting new people. Im not biritsh im slovakian ive lived in the uk for 5 yrs and im going to yr 9 now and im scared that i wont be able to find any friends and not fit in :( what do i do ?
Ask Sam



It sounds as though you have been feeling unsure about what to expect at your new school, and that’s causing you to feel more nervous about starting. As you told me you moved to the UK 5 years ago, it seems like you may have already coped with some big changes in your life. It might be helpful to try and think about what helped you to cope when you started a new school in the UK for the first time. Change can be difficult and sometimes it can scare us, but it is worth reminding ourselves how well we have coped with it in the past. It’s good that you’ve shared your fears with me. You do not mention who you live with and I’m wondering whether you feel able to speak to anyone you know and trust about how you’re feeling? Writing down your fears may be one way to let them out. Have a look at the Anxiety page for tips about how to cope with nerves or anxiety when you are in school.

Other young people have written to me about fears over starting new schools. It can be quite daunting when we feel we are leaving people and places familiar to us. If you look at the School and college messageboards you can see some things written by other young people about coping with these fears. There is also more advice about school in Explore.

I can hear that you feel being shy may make it more difficult to make new friends. If the school runs any afterschool or lunchtime clubs then joining these may be a way to meet other people who you have things in common with. It is likely that there will be other people at your new school who are feeling nervous about going back, and want to make new friends. Reading the information about friendships may also give you some ideas.

You explained in your letter that you would be starting school the next day, so I think you may have been to the school now. If you would like to talk more about how that went and how you’re feeling now you could speak to a ChildLine counsellor online or on the phone. You could also write an email and get a personal reply from a counsellor and you could work with them a looking more closely at this and at ways to help you deal with it.

Thank you for your letter.

Take care,


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