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To Sam

I'm worried that I'm getting the blame for someone being lonely

I have just started upper school and through Primary school I used to hang around with two girls who were really weird and not very nice. However over the holidays I made a lot of new friends from other schools and I would rather spend breaktimes with them so I have been ignoring the 2 girls. But my new friends are actually nice! Am I bullying these girls?
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter.

Starting secondary school can be a really exciting time and you’ll meet lots of new people. Making new friends is one of the best things about starting a new school.

It sounds like you have had a nice summer getting to know other friends who are now going to the same school as you. It’s okay to make new friends and to want to get to know them more. Maybe you can think about what it was that you didn’t really like about your other two friends and how you feel about not speaking to them anymore.

Bullying is when someone intentionally hurts another person. It can be physical, by pushing or hitting them, or emotional, by saying horrible things to that person. From what you are saying it doesn’t sound like you are trying to hurt anyone, you have made new friends who you enjoy spending time with.

It’s good that you are thinking about your own behaviour and how the other girls might be feeling. Ignoring someone can be hurtful for that person. It might be worth thinking about whether there is a way of getting along with them even if you’re not friends. We have some advice on our Friendships page you might find good to read.

If you would like to talk a little more about your new school and making new friends then you can contact ChildLine and speak to a counsellor. You can call on 0800 1111, send an email or log on for a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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