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To Sam

I'm ten and in love

This may come across as really weird but I think my feelings for this boy in my class are too strong to be normal. I have had a crush on him since nursery and I am utterly obsessed which I don't think is normal. Please answer because I really don't know what to do! Because my hormones are changing and everything it makes things ten times worse and I get this weird warm flutter feeling when I see him. Anything he does without me or says to me that is contradicting what I've said upsets me and I have no idea why my feelings are so strong!!! Please help!
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Sam

Hi

Thank you for writing your letter. It sounds like you’re trying to cope with some pretty strong feelings and you aren’t sure if this is normal. Having feelings for someone can be pretty intense….there’s a reason why there is that phrase ‘being crazy about someone….’ Sometimes when you have a crush on someone you do feel like you are going a bit crazy because you think about them all the time and when you are around them you don’t even recognise yourself and worry about all the things you say and do. It is perfectly normal….it’s even normal to feel like you are not normal!

Have you ever told this person how you feel? I know that’s a really tough one, but like anything else, unless they know how you feel, they can’t do anything about it. If you don’t feel ready to do that, that’s okay too.

Whatever way this works out, remember that life is all about learning about yourself and how you can deal with different situations. Asking for help can let you see different ways of coping with different problems. Maybe you can think of a trusted adult you can talk to about your feelings and how you can try to deal with them. I know that’s a tough one too, but remember, all adults were your age once too and they have had to learn from experience how to deal with those kinds of feelings. Sometimes just being able to talk about things can help you feel a little less worried.

You might also find it useful to read the puberty pages in Explore or having a look at the advice about Fancying Someone on the get the lowdown website.

If you do want to talk to ChildLine about this a bit more please feel free to come and speak to a counsellor on the phone by calling 0800 1111.

Take care,

Sam

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