hey so basically i lied about something really really bad and i told a teacher and then they had to take further action and tell my head of year and then i admitted to my parents it was a lie. but the teacher i told really likes me - we have a good relationship and we trust eachother but i dont know how to tell her i lied or whether to not tell her and let her find out herself??
Sam
Hi there,
Everyone has their own way of knowing if something is right or wrong. Some people live by their religion, others live by what society or their culture says. Usually you have a feeling about whether something’s right or not - but it can be a hard feeling to understand. If you’ve done something that's making you feel bad, it can be a good idea to face it. If you just hope the problem goes away on its own it might not and could just make your situation worse.
Nobody’s perfect. We all do things wrong from time to time. But what counts as wrong is a decision that you have to make for yourself. I can't tell you that lying is wrong because there might be times where a lie might keep you or someone else safe. What I can say is look at how this lie is affecting you and that might help you to decide what the best thing to do is.
If the lie is on your mind a lot and its stopping you from feeling happy and comfortable at school - then you could own up to it. I can't tell you what’ll happen if you do but sometimes when we feel guilty we can imagine things to be a lot worse. It’s a hard choice to make so it could help to think about how it’d feel if you don’t own up. If you don't feel like things are going to get better without you telling someone about the lie, then doing it sooner rather than later might be best.
It could also help to talk about this with a Childline counsellor. Our confidentiality promise explains what we can keep between you and us, so you can decide if you want to tell a counsellor or not. Practising talking about it could make it easier if you do decide to tell someone. I’d recommend calling on the phone to practise, but Childline’s 1-2-1 chat is also a good place to rehearse.
Thanks for getting in touch, I hope this letter has helped you.
Take care,
Sam
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