Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Going to High School

I've been feeling little bit stressed about going to high school. I know it will be fun, but... at first i tryed out for a dance school with my friend and well she got in but i didn't. I've been so upset about it and when it was our last day of primary school i cryed the most out of the hole class! The stress is growing so strong that it's leading to my family! (ever since I left Primary, me and my dad have been falling out, not physically fighting but saying rude/mean things to each other.)

What should I do? I'm not a very calm person

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter.

Starting a new school can be both exciting and scary at the same time. Secondary schools are often much bigger and busier than primary school, but this also gives you an opportunity to be more independent, meet lots of new people and try out new things.

I can hear how disappointed you are about not making the dance school your friend did. However schools have lots of clubs you can join in with which give you the chance to try something new and meet new friends. Perhaps you could find out what clubs your school runs either by looking on their website, or asking a teacher when you start.

It’s natural to be upset and worried about what the future with bring, but having an open mind and a positive attitude can really help. We have a page about building confidence which could help you feel better when you start your new school. This might also help you to feel less stressed before you start. It’s important to remember that many people feel stressed about starting something new. Everyone in your school will have been new at some point, even the teachers, so most people will understand what it feels like.

If you have any questions or problems, your teacher should be there to support you, especially in the first few weeks as you find your way around and learn how your new school works. Often when we know the answer to a question we have been stressing about, our worries can fade instantly. Don’t be afraid to ask - other people might have been wondering too.

If you're still finding it hard to cope with your feelings, you might find it helpful to check out the managing anxiety page for ideas on how to cope. One thing which can really help is to talk things through. You might want to talk to friends to see how they’re coping, visit the ChildLine message boards or talk to a ChildLine counsellor. ChildLine is here all the time, so you could talk the day before you start to talk through your worries, or the evening you start to talk through how it went as well as at any other time you need to chat.

I hope you enjoy your new school and can find lots of new opportunities, but if its more stressful than you’d like it to be, there is always someone at ChildLine to support you.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

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