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To Sam

Friend I want to get rid of

I have a friend who I have started to dislike now because he always makes weird noises or sings random songs in class and evryone laughs at him. Other weird stuff he does is he always says cheese waffles randomly and when people laugh at him I feel like they are laughing at me to because he never leaves me alone, he is always following me and he goes wherever i go.i have just joined high school and I feel I don't have as many friends as I would have if I was not friends with him. I think about this a lot and I always think about how I don't have a lot of friends. I don't want to be his friend anymore but I don't know how to tell him. I also don't want to hurt his feelings please help me Sam

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Sam

Hello,

Thank you for writing to me.

It sounds like you’re thinking a lot about your friend. The way people feel about friends can change over time and is often confusing. From what you have written, it seems like this friend may depend on you a lot but at the same time you feel that he is preventing you from making new friends - the kind of friends you want. You can take a look at our friendships page for more information and advice about coping with friends .

It sounds as though it can be upsetting for you when people laugh at your friend for behaving differently in class. Laughing at someone for behaving differently can be a type of bullying. Have you have spoken to your friend about how he feels when people do this? Maybe you could think about speaking to a teacher about what happens and how it makes you feel. Many people with issues at school, and not just to do with school work, find that talking to a teacher or pastoral support worker can help. You have already taken a big first step in writing this letter to me.

It seems as though your friend is spending a lot of time with you, and it’s understandable that you would like to spend time with other people too. I can hear that you are concerned about hurting your friend’s feelings. Instead of telling him that you don’t want to be his friend, perhaps you could explain that you would like to spend a bit less time together so you can both get to know some new people at high school. This could be a positive and encouraging way to make the change you want without offending anyone as I am sure you do not want to do. If school runs any clubs for interest and hobbies joining them may be a way to meet new people.

You may also be able to get ideas about what to do from other young people by posting a message on the Friends message board.

You can also talk about this in more detail with a ChildLine counsellor online or over the phone.

Take care,

Sam

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