Ask Sam letter


To Sam

everyone has BBM but me!

all my friends have blackberrys and im not allowed one but they all have bbm so they are always talking to each other through that and i never talk to any of my friends because thay are all on BBM it makes me feel like all my friends only want to be friends with people who have blackberrys i dont want to loos my friends because of a phone that i dont have .
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for coming through to tell me how things are for you with your friends. It sounds like not having a Blackberry is leaving you feeling left out and isolated, which is not a nice way to feel.

I can hear that your friends are very important to you. In all friendships it is important to remember what makes a good friend and what makes the relationship work. Communication is very important within a friendship, but there are lots of ways to communicate with your friends. Face to face communication and actual talking are very healthy ways of communicating. Virtual communication, like MSN and BBM, is an easy way to stay in touch, but sometimes it can feel less meaningful that chatting in person.

As these are your friends and you care about them a lot, maybe you could consider talking to your friends about your fear of losing them over a Blackberry? This might help your friends to understand how things seem from your point of view? A good friend will want to help you feel included.

You haven't said in your letter how old you are or why you're not allowed a Blackberry. Perhaps you could try talking to your parents or carers about how left out you feel by not having one.

Sometimes it’s easier to focus on what we don’t have rather than what we do have. I understand that you are feeling left out not being able to join in with the BBM conversations. However, you have got an ability to express your thoughts and feelings in a really open and honest way and you sound like a kind and caring person. In the long run, these skills and qualities are more important and meaningful in friendships than having a Blackberry.

You might find it helps to have a look at the page about Friends in the Explore section. Remember, you can always talk to a counsellor on 0800 1111, or via 1-2-1 chat or email.

Take care,


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