Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Crumbling under pressure :/ really need support please..

My gcse results are due soon and I am starting to get anxious especially after my mum nagged me bout failing the school year because I got the average of 88% and we are not even Asian... And now I've tried telling her bout my escalating anxiety and she shrugged me off saying that anything lower than an A will be a disappointment and how I am an embarrassment because all the other kids are getting all A* and I am not.. She even lied bout my average school score to her friends because 88 was too embarrassing for her to bring up..i understand that she spends money on me which I am constantly reminded of too but I always feel like I am not good enough and I am failing in life... My self esteem is no where to be found and I am very scared that I will never get anywhere in the future :/ thanking you in advance dear Sam.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

I’m glad you’ve written in as I can hear you’re having such a difficult time right now and I’m hoping this is your first step to getting some support for yourself that you deserve.

Waiting for exam results is a really tough time without the added pressure you seem to be having from your mum. There’s lots of support on our website on exam results and next steps which you might find useful right now. There’s hope and options whatever your results. You might also want to look at our page about self-esteem.

It sounds like your mum’s expectations are unrealistic and that this has been happening for a long time now. I can hear how much this has affected you and is making it hard for you to see anything positive now and in the future. It sounds like your mum might feel that she is trying to motivate you to do better but it seems like it’s doing the opposite and it’s difficult for you to explain this to her.

I’d really like to offer you more support and advice but it’s difficult without understanding more about the background and your overall relationship with your mum. I can tell you that lots of young people have found it helpful to talk to their parent in a situation like yours. Often parents do not realise the effect their behaviour can have and it can be important to talk about your feelings with them so they might understand what it's like for you. If you don't feel able to talk to your mum you could think of talking to another adult who you trust.

Talking to one of the counsellors at ChildLine can also help and give you the support it sounds like you need right now. You can contact them either by calling on 0800 1111, logging on for a 1-2-1 chat or by sending an email.

You might also find some help and support from other young people on the message boards – you can either just read posts or you can start one yourself.

You’re likely to have had your results by now and so your situation may have moved on since sending me this letter. If you need any extra support around your exams you can talk to one of the ChildLine counsellors about this as well.

In the meantime please take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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