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To Sam

Boarding School Anxiety

Hi Sam. I recently started year.p seven at a boardin school and it is really stressful. i am very homesick and people arent being that nice to me. i am in a dorm with 4 other people who keep fighting and arguing and it is making me upset. i am in the gap between classes right now and am going to sport where people bully me for being un fit. ​ i am a girl and i am trans aswel so it is hard for me. i only get to call home twice a week for 10 minutes. ​ please can i have some advice because I need it.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Starting a new school can be really hard, especially when it's a boarding school. For most people starting at a new school and getting used to a new place, they can go home at the end of the day. Starting at boarding school means getting used to two things - a change in where you learn and where you live.

When we’re away from home it can make us want to get back there as soon as possible. Your home is supposed to be a safe place where you feel comfortable, so if you're living away from home it might be hard. It can help to take some familiar things with you from home - favourite stuff that might help you to feel more comfortable.

Bullying is never okay and is never your fault. Being at boarding school means you can't escape home at the end of the day, and that means it's even more important to tell someone at school to make sure this stops. Your school should take bullying seriously, and will have a policy to protect their students. The best thing to do is talk to your tutor, or someone you feel comfortable talking to. Try to write down what happens, where you were and who was involved. Keeping a record can make a lot easier to talk about what’s been going on.

It's also important to have people you trust around you. Finding new friends isn't always easy but you will find people who you get on with and who you feel safe with. If you’re struggling to make new friends at school, a good start is to meet other people who enjoy the same things as you. Try to see if there are any clubs you can join that might be a chance to meet someone with the same interests as you. Childline has lots of advice about making new friends, and building up your confidence.

If you need someone to talk to, Childline counsellors are there for you. You can also use Childline’s message boards to share your experience, and get support from other young people.

I hope this has helped, take care.


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