I love to watch a really funny youtuber who unfortunately swears LOADS. I'm trying to hide it from my parents, but sooner or later they're going to find out. I really don't want them to be upset with me, as neither one of them want ME to start swearing. I know I won't though. I want to tell them that I'm watching a youtuber who swears, but I don't know how to do it gently, and not to just blurt it out randomly. I know it's not really that serious, but I'm really torn. Please don't tell me not to watch him, because I really enjoy his videos and they always cheer me up whenever I'm felling down. I hope you can help Sam.
Sam
Hi there,
As you get older it's normal to want more control over the things you watch and listen to. What we watch can have a big effect on us so parents may want to make sure it's suitable. If your parents monitor what you're watching, you may need to help them understand why you like it and why you want to watch it. Talking to them is often the best way to do this so you don't have to hide anything.
Introducing parents or carers to a new activity you're doing can be stressful if you think they might stop you from doing it. But doing it in secret can take the enjoyment out of it. Being open and honest is often the best way to be.
If you want to show your parents a video, you could start with one you think shows the best side of the YouTuber. Try finding one that's a good example of why you like them. If you think they're funny, find the video you think's the funniest. If it contains lots of swearing, it could be something you say you don't like about their videos. Being honest about the good and the bad aspects of this YouTuber can show an adult you can recognise good and bad behaviour.
Understanding why your parents might not want you to watch the videos can be a good starting point for talking to them. If you think it's because they wouldn't want you to start swearing, you'd need to reassure them that it won't. One way you could do this is to admit you've been watching the videos for a while and they haven't changed you so far. You could also come to an agreement that if your parents notice your behaviour changing, you'll stop watching.
Whatever you say to them it's important you feel comfortable with the things you're watching. It's difficult for parents to protect you from everything on the internet, so if you're ever watching something you know isn't good for you, it's up to you to stop yourself.
Have a think about whether this YouTuber is right for you. If you decide he isn't, you can stop watching him. If you decide it's okay for you to carry on, you may feel more confident about talking to your parents.
I'm glad you sent me this letter. I hope this helps.
Take care.
Sam
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