Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Worried about my bf tbh.

Basically, im 14, i have a boyfriend who is 15, recently since i started seeing him ive learnt alot about his home life, his parents are both homophobic and since he came out 2 years ago he has been mentally and sometimes physically abused. Since i came into his life as his first known boyfriend to his parents, they have both treated him awfully, he is worried about where he can go now...Currently staying at his aunts he cant go back to his house because of his mum and dad, he wants to know what would happen if he went to social services?

Hes worried in case they move him far away, especially because there are no large under 16 care homes on the island and he doesn't know if he'll get foster parents or if maybe he'll just be forced to live in his house..he's physiologically unstable and quite depressed at the minute so all his friends and the rest of his family that care for him just want him in a better place, sorry about so much writing :L Any advice you could give would be really helpful thanks!

J* x x

Ask Sam


Hi J*,

I’m really glad that you found the courage to write to me as it sounds like you’re really worried about your boyfriend. 

It’s not okay for anyone to treat someone differently because of their sexuality. It’s a real shame your boyfriend's parents have not been able to overlook their strong views and have made their son feel he needs to leave home. I am pleased to hear that he has you and the rest of his family to care and support him.

You’ve said that his aunt has let him stay there but it sounds like this might not be able to be a permanent arrangement. I guess it may cause problems between his aunt and parents. Unless his parents and aunt agree to this becoming a permanent arrangement then at 15 years old he is not old enough legally to look after himself and as you rightly say, he may need the help of social services.

It’s difficult for me to tell you what exactly what social services would do as each area works differently depending on their resources. They would have to talk to your boyfriend and his parents before making any decisions but they would want to make sure that he was safe and cared for. It might be worth your boyfriend or maybe even his aunt making initial contact with them as it can take them time to work through and assess cases. As he is 15 he should be able to be involved in any decision being made.

You’ve also said that your boyfriend is psychologically unstable and quite depressed. He’s gone through an awful lot with his parents and it would be a good idea to get some help and support for this. Talking to one of our counsellors may be a good start, he can either ring on 0800 1111, calls are free and don’t show up on bills, use 1-2-1 chat or send an email. The counsellors are here to listen, understand, make you feel supported and don’t judge.

You’re also welcome to talk to a ChildLine counsellor too. It sounds like you worry a lot for your boyfriend and it’s great that you are so supportive but you may need some support for yourself too.

Take care,


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