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Asker

To Sam

why do me and my mum fall out so often?

Me and my mum just had a huge argument about lying. And she hates liars. But I have a sleepover saturday and she wont let me go anymore. What can I do to appolagise. Every time I try to say sorry, she says "well its to late now" I want to turn back time. I go to bed quite late because of homework, and get up early. I dont think that helps. Also I have been really snappy latley, getting angry about anything. I really hope she forgives me, i just want to be friends again.  Thankyou.
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi,

Thanks for your letter. It sounds like this argument with your mum has been really difficult for you and that you’re finding it hard not being on good terms with your mum at the moment. It seems like maybe your mum needs to build up trust with you again? Rebuilding trust can take time, so it might  be that you just need to try and be patient and show your mum that you can be reliable and trustworthy. This might mean doing things like finishing any jobs that you’ve agreed to do or offering to help her with things without her asking you first.

Your letter felt very honest and genuine and it struck me right away that maybe you should write a letter to your mum the way you did to me. It shows how much you care and how badly you are feeling about what happened between you.

You mentioned that you are up late and waking up early. You also say that you are snappy and get angry about anything. It sounds like you are working pretty hard with only little rest. Our moods can sometimes change when there is something bothering us which needs to come out. Is there something on your mind at the moment that is making you feel this way? It seems like you usually have a pretty good relationship with your mum and that you are both just going through a rough patch at the moment. That’s okay and it’s natural. All relationships have their ups and downs, but talking things through together can really help. It can make a big difference to have someone who knows and possibly understands what you are going through and can give you a bit of support. That in itself might not change the problems you are having outside of your relationship, but it can mean that you can get through these problems together.

I hope that helps,

Take care,

Sam

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