Need help straight away?
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
Hello S,
Its really clear that you are concerned about your boyfriend. Its great that you want to find a way to support him and help him as best as you can. Youve done really well to explain the situation that hes experiencing, and its great that you are there for him at this time and want to help him.
It can often be very difficult or upsetting to have a parent or guardian with alcohol and/or drug problems. You're right that it's not fair that your boyfriend has to cope with this. You described how your boyfriend and his brother seem to react in different ways to what is going on with their mums drinking. Everyone copes with stress or difficulty differently, and this could be what is happening with them. It's important for both of them to remember that they are not to blame for their mum's behaviour, although it sounds like that might be hard for your boyfriend to believe at the moment.
You said that the stress at home is affecting your boyfriend's grades at school. I wonder if he's thought about speaking to a teacher, or another adult at school like the school nurse? Staff at school have a responsibility to support the young people they work with and anything that is affecting their safety and wellbeing at home.
If your boyfriend (or his brother) wanted to prefer speak to someone in confidence first, they could talk to one of the counsellors at ChildLine. There are several ways to getting in touch including phoning 0800 1111, logging in for a 1-2-1 chat, or sending an email. Its important for you to know that you too are welcome to contact them whenever you want to talk.
Your boyfriend might find it helpful to look at the Parents and alcohol page in Explore. He could also look at the message boards. These contain questions, ideas and experiences shared by other young people about a variety of topics, including home and family relationships.
Another resource that might provide some support to your boyfriend and his brother is a service called Alateen. They are part of an organisation called Al-Anon, a service for people who have someone in their lives who has issues with alcohol. Alateen is specifically for young people and you can take a look at the Alateen information on the Al-Anon website.
I hope this information helps. Well done for sharing and for showing concern about someone you care about.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.