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To Sam

want to live with dad

I am a 14yr girl and I don't know what to do anymore. My parents got divorced when I was about one, but my problems with my mom till I was 13. It even got worse when my mom remarried and we moved in with her new husband. Recently I notice that she hasn't been the same since the marriage. She hasn't spent that much time with me and on too of that she has been pushing me too hard in school. I want to live with my dad but I'm afraid that I'll get in even more trouble. I wish I could do something,but don't know what to do. Please help.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

It is hard to feel that your mum has changed and that you feel pressured about school by her. You say that you don’t get to spend much time with her. It might help to think about a time when you did things together or to make a list of some things you’d like to do together with your mum, and then talk to her about it. I expect that there might be quite a few other young people who read your letter and recognise some of the things you’ve mentioned.

The way your mum acts about your studies seems like it’s making you feel under a lot of pressure and it could be a good idea to let a teacher know about this. Choose a teacher who you trust and speak to them about the pressure you’re feeling with your schoolwork. It might help for the teacher to know what you’re going through so that they can support you better at school, possibly by helping to reorganise some of your schoolwork.

I noticed that you said you want to live with your dad and you’re worried about getting into more trouble. You seem quite stuck at the moment. It’s important for you to feel comfortable where you live and it might be a good idea to speak to your dad about your idea of living with him. If you’d like to know more about your legal rights, you can take a look at the Law Stuff website.

I really hope that you get the support you need at this difficult time. Remember that you can always speak to a ChildLine counsellor.

Take care,

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