Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Step mum

My mum and dad broke up when I was around 5, they had three children, me, my older sister and my younger sister. My mum started taking drugs and my dad didn't want to believe it, but things got so bad when he left, he came back for us and took custody. Two years after he met another woman, and married her, from the start my older sister despised her, I didn't have a clue what was going on and my younger sister was only a year old. She had a child of her own, a boy that was a year older than me, who I have grown up to be very close with. As the years went on, when my older sister reached 16, my stepmom kicked her out, and my sister States to this day that she was making up lies about her to try and get her out of the picture. My dad is completely oblivious to what is going on, my stepmum had two children with my dad when I was 9/10, I believe she only did that so my dad has no choice but to stay with her. Everything she did to my older sister, I feel like she's doing it to me and my younger sister. I believe she's trying to push us three girls out of the family so it'll be perfect! I'm 16 in June, and I want to move to my nans house which is about 20 minutes away from my dads. My nan has been the mother figure Ive never had, and my older sister moved her when she was kicked out... Would I make things worse for myself if I told my dad I wanted to live with my nan?

please get back to me

Ask Sam


Hi there,

When families break up it can be difficult for young people. The changes in families can continue for a long time. Parents often find new partners who may also already have children of their own. Everyone may not always get on well and family relationships may sometimes worry young people. It's always important to remember that no matter what choices adults make about their relationships, children and young people in the family are never responsible for what happens between the adults.

Where you choose to live is an important decision. It's okay to take some time to think about what may be best for you. It can also be a good idea to talk to the people  you trust. You may want to think about where you go to school or college, what you want to do in the future and where you would get the money that you need.

I know that you have said that your older sister moved in with your nan some time ago. It might be a good idea to talk to her about what that was like for her. You may also want to think about how that affected your sister’s relationship with other family members.

When young people are finding family relationships difficult, talking to an adult that you live with, in this case your dad, can be a good idea. Think about what you want to say and what it is that you would like to change. Pick a good time to talk to your dad, when you will not be interrupted. Then you can be sure he has time to listen to what you have to say.

If you feel you would like some support, you could think about talking to another adult that you trust, perhaps at school or a family member. Remember you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor too. We are here to support you.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter