Ask Sam letter


To Sam


Hi, Sam.

I just got back from school and there’s obvious signs my mum was in my room. Such as my chair has moved, clothes folded that came from the laundry and the door open that was closed once I left.

I always keep my tablet/IPad in my draw, when I came home I found my headphones placed ontop of my ipad in the draw. I DID NOT LEAVE IT LIKE THAT, and honestly it scares me.

I also found that the internet browser was open and Settings, I once again did not leave it like that when I left for school. There were just obvious signs that she was in my room, snopping around.

Can you maybe give me tips, I don’t want to confront her incase she I'm wrong. But I swear on it, I didn’t use my headphones in the morning, and I know I didn’t place them ontop of the ipad but underneath instead.

Please just, I don’t know give me tips or something?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Getting the privacy you want at home can be hard, especially if there are lots of other people in the house. Parents may need to invade your privacy from time to time if they feel they need to keep you safe, but this shouldn’t be all of the time. You should have some space that you can be yourself in, so having that conversation with your parents is important.

It can be tough sometimes to talk openly and honestly to parents about what’s going on in your life and there may be things you don’t want your parents to know about. At the same time, your parents may find it difficult to talk to you.

Sometimes, parents go through stuff like phones, laptops and tablets as a way of finding out things about their child that they didn’t want to ask about. It’s not always okay for someone to do this, and can damage trust.

Having open and honest relationships with the important people in your life can be really positive and can help to develop that trust. It doesn’t always need to start with confrontation and can begin with everyday conversations. It might be that the more you talk to your parents, the less they feel the need to find out what’s going on for you in other ways.

There are tips around how to start difficult conversations here on our website, which include preparation, practising and finding the right time. Talking can really help to gain more understanding and can in time help everyone to see things differently.

It may be that some compromise has to be made about your privacy, especially as you get older. Remember that you can speak to our counsellors if you ever want to talk about what you might say.

Thanks for your letter. Take care,


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