I am a 16 year old girl who just so happens to be a single mum to a little girl who is 8 and 1/2 months. I gave birth at 15 and all my friends pretty much left. I think I'm a good mum and I always try my best to do what's right for my baby people judge but she is perfect and I wouldn't change her I love her unconditionally! However my mum has started telling me how to raise her like if I'm able to let her have a day off nursery so I can spend the day with her she says I'm not allowed as my daughter will get out of routine. I told my mum that from now on I decide what is right and best for my baby and she said well you move out and when you have a stable place to live I will let her come stay with you. I have all parental rResponsibly and sole. custody. How can I get my mum to stop trying to take over? Can I move out with my baby? Thank you Sam.
Sam
Hi there,
It can be difficult for parents to not get involved when they become grandparents - especially when their grandchild is living in the same house. But it’s important for you to make decisions for your child and for the relationship with your mum to get better.
Even though things have become difficult at the moment, it's important to have a calm conversation with your mum about the way you're bringing up your child without it turning into an argument. Your mum may think she's helping by giving you the benefit of her experience, even though it may not feel like it sometimes.
You may want to say you're happy for her to offer advice, but you'd like to ask for it as you need to learn things for yourself. Finding a compromise can be an alternative to leaving home, and if staying at home makes your mum feel involved then it could work for both of you. Remember that the way you feel about bringing up your daughter is probably very similar to how your mum feels about you.
If you can’t work things out then at 16 you can leave home if you have somewhere safe to go. This could be another relative’s house, for example. For this to be a permanent move you may be asked to pay rent, which is something to consider before you make any decisions.
Another option is to talk to your local housing authority about available housing in your area. But it's really important to think about the financial aspects of leaving home before you do so, such as paying your rent, paying the bills, feeding and clothing yourself and your baby.
You may find it useful to talk to someone at Childline to explore all the options available and make a choice that's right for you and your baby. You can call to speak to one of our counsellors or try a live 1-2-1 chat. Remember - there's always someone here to help.
Take care,
Sam
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