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To Sam

Saying No

Everytime i mention something like going on a residential in school (paying for myself!) The first thing my parents would say is "No Money ! " we live on benfits and i have 8 sisters (i swear) and some are older than me. When i asked to go onto a residental trip for £159 i said i would pay myself and i said that i swear to god i would and they said NO then my older sisters started teasing me. So i hid and cryed all night and now im ignoring everyone except for my oldest sister she is kind to me !!! Now i HATE my family but i dont know what to do!!?????
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Lots of families have money problems sometimes, but it's really hard to deal with when it feels like they’re stopping us doing things that are really important to us.

I can hear how frustrating it is that your parents said no to the residential trip, even though you offered to pay, and how upset you’ve been since then. Sometimes talking about this again at a time when things are calmer can help you understand more about their reasons. Waiting until things are calmer can also give you a chance to put your point of view across. It’s not okay that your older sisters have been teasing you about this and it’s important that your parents take action to make it stop.

If speaking to your parents about this out loud feels too hard you could think about writing them a letter and asking them to read it then come and talk to you. You mentioned that your oldest sister is kind to you. Maybe she could help you have that conversation with them. You could also consider talking to a teacher you trust at school so that they can support you. This page has some more information around this.

If you want to talk some more about this and maybe even practise what you want to say to your parents you could speak with a ChildLine counsellor. You can do this by ringing for free on 0800 1111, or logging on for a 1-2-1 chat.

You might also find it helpful to take a look at the message boards, which are a space where young people share their experiences and support each other.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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