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Parents

My Mum and Dad have been split for 1 year now and it herts more than anything! Though every kid wants their parents to get back together though my parents are hiding somthing BOTH of them i have seen them sleeping together and kissing and its like their together but their not its a bit comfusing. Im now in year 5 and my brother is in year 1 he's only 5 but doesent have a clue whats going on he comes to me at 11:30 at night sobbing "I NEED DADDY" which obviously sets me off (as in crying) Just help!
M Xx
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Sam

Hi there,

Thanks very much for your message.

It sounds like it’s been really hard for you since your mum and dad split up. I can hear that you’re confused about what’s happening between them now. From what you’ve said, that’s understandable, as you’ve seen them act like they are together again.

It seems like you really want to know what’s going on. The only people who can really answer that are your parents. Perhaps you could think about talking to them about what you’ve seen and how it’s left you feeling. It’s worth realising that your parents may still be trying to work out what they want to happen next. They may not have all the answers you need yet. It can be really hard to cope with things being unsettled at home. You might want to find ways of expressing your feelings, like writing them in a diary, or drawing pictures or writing poems. Sometimes doing something to distract yourself can help, like playing a game, or watching TV.

It’s important that you get a chance to share your thoughts and worries with someone too. If you don’t feel like you can talk to your parents perhaps you could think about talking to another family member such as an aunt, grandparent or even a friend’s mum. They may be able to speak to your parents on your behalf or even help you talk about what’s happening at home.

You seem like a really caring sister and your brother is very lucky to have you there. It’s important that you know you shouldn’t have to feel totally responsible for helping your younger brother through this time. Your parents should be there to help you both understand what’s going on too.

If you would like to talk to a counsellor you can call our freephone helpline on 0800 1111, talk to a counsellor in a 1-2-1 chat or send an email.

It may be useful for you to have a look at the divorce and separation page in Explore. You could also think about posting a message on the separation and divorce message boards and asking other young people in similar situations for advice.

I hope this helps.

Take care,

Sam

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