Ask Sam letter


To Sam

parents are getting divorced

hi sam i have a question for you. can you help me please cause my mum and dad are constonaly aruging and they are dragging me in to them

what do i do im getting really worried but the thing is that they are getting divorced and that is making it 10 times worse 

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your message. I’m sorry to hear that things are difficult for you, it does sound very stressful. It can be really hard to just be around arguments. I hear from lots of young people who tell me how tough it is when parents try to make them take sides.

Sometimes it’s hard to understand what’s going on in other people’s relationships and maybe they haven’t really explained things to you. You might have a lot of questions or worries about what’s happening now and what might happen in the future.

I wonder if you are able to talk to either of them and let them know how you feel?  Sometimes adults don’t realise how much their behaviour is affecting their children. You could tell them how you feel about being dragged into arguments because that’s something that shouldn’t be happening.

If you can’t talk to them, I wonder if there’s another adult who you might be able to tell like a family friend or relative? You can take a look at our page about asking an adult for help for advice about what to say. You can always talk to one of our counsellors about this by calling 0800 1111, sending an email or logging on for a 1-2-1 chat. There is always someone here who will listen to you and support you.

We also have some information about family relationships and divorce that you might find useful. I hope this helps and I hope that things get better for you at home too.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small.

Write me a letter