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To Sam


My whole family has just shattered into a million peices my brother found out his gf was cheating now i dont see my newphews and neices and my dad found my mum was cheating :( my mum and sister in law were both in on the act they both knew they were doing wrong but lived life as the usual .... i am 12 years old.. i scratch my self until my skin is red is to let my anger out  .. i also gob all the time to my dad but not on purpous i need to let my emotions out to someone i have even considered cutting! My mum is also very violent towards me .. it is so upsetting .. i would like to talk to the schhol nurse but im afraid if i tell her about my mum and her violence she will tell soicial servieces as much as my mum says she hates me and doesn't care about me i still don't want to be taken into care ..! or out my mum in anymore trouble because she has enough on her plate
love from me xxxxxxxx
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your message and it sounds like you feel you and your family really need some help, this is a great first step. I can hear that there is a lot happening in your family, and there have been some big changes, which are leaving you feeling like it is hard to cope and you are not really sure how express your feelings.

You mentioned that your mum is violent towards you, and I would like you to know that it is never ok for a parent to hurt a child. You can find out a bit more about this in the Physical abuse section in Explore. When your mum says that she hates you and doesn’t care about you, this is also another type of abuse called Emotional abuse.

Many young people tell me that the idea of getting social services involved in their family can be really scary, however social services are there to support families. It doesn’t always mean that children will get taken into care - care is often a very last option. Social services try to give parents the help they need to look after children to help them to stop hurting you - it might be that your family could get help if social services are involved.

It sounds like you would really like to talk about how things are, and I think it would be a great idea to share some of your thoughts and feelings with someone else. It sounds like you are coping with a lot at the moment and you deserve to get some support. You mentioned that sometimes you feel so angry you scratch yourself red raw. While that is an understandable reaction to feeling overwhelmed, perhaps next time you feel that way, you could think about writing some of those feelings down instead, or talking to someone else about what’s making you angry. As your mum is being violent you are right in thinking that if you talk to the school nurse she’ll have to tell someone else, and this might mean social services getting involved.

ChildLine has a greater level of confidentiality than your school nurse so the counsellors can talk to you about what is going on without having to call social services, unless you want them to do that for you. You can find out more about our confidentiality policy and decide how you feel about talking to a counsellor here at ChildLine. You can call us for free on 0800 1111 or log on for a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,


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