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To Sam

My stepmum

Ever since she's been here she's made my life better and worse at the same time. She's so strict about everything. She wants my skirt to be knee length and it makes me feel so self conscious and worried about everything. She makes my dad make decisions for me and it results in me being teased at school. she's really controlling and makes me give her a pound for stupid things like not turning the light off. sometimes, when I think about her it makes me have fits were I shake and hyper ventalate. It's getting really serious now. I never know what to say to her in fright that she won't get me anything for Christmas or she'll take away my phone which is the only way I can escape from her. I'm really terrified of her. ive tried to talk to her but she thinks she's so right about everything☹️ what should I do?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Being part of a step family can often mean people with different experiences and backgrounds coming together to live as a family. Often there can be disagreements about rules, but it’s really important that you are not left feeling terrified of someone. You have a right to feel safe at home.

It sounds like the way things are at home is making you feel really upset and worried about what may happen. It's really good that you've felt able to talk to your step-mum about how you'd really like things to change. I can hear this hasn’t gone the way you’d hoped, but if you feel comfortable talking to another adult you trust, they could support you. This could be your Dad, someone else in your family or maybe a teacher you trust.

Rules given by other people can be hard to understand sometimes. And this can be difficult to cope with. Rules can be important sometimes, to help to keep things under control. But it’s also possible to have too many rules or rules which are just unfair.

It’s natural to worry about the way you look. But if this is starting to affect your confidence, you deserve to get support. Sharing how you feel can be a great start.

You’re welcome to talk through your worries with a Childline counsellor. They can support you, no matter how you are feeling, whenever you need to talk. You don't have go through this alone.

Take care,


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