Dear Sam, I am a 15 year old boy who lives with his mum and dad in England. I was adopted from Guatemala when i was 2 years old. My Mum and Dad have been very kind to me in giving me this life. I have done something so stupid and something that would break my family's relationship. I figures out i could transfer money from my savings which my mum was hoping to give me when i was 18. Each month i would transfer money from that account to mine so i could spend it on games and clothes. It has been about a year since regretted that decision as now it is down to £3.00 from £6000. I have made my self very depressed over this and i really want to get the money back so i don't break my mums heart when she finds out because she will some day. Please i really need help because for the last few days i have be crying my eyes out and depressed mostly everyday.
Sam
Hi there,
We all make mistakes and bad choices from time to time - especially as we grow up. You already know what you've done is wrong and regret it. What's happened has happened, so now you need to decide what to do next.
You really have only two choices here - ignore the problem or own up to it. Ignoring the problem means you will continue to think about it all the time and it will keep having an effect on your mental health. It's unlikely you're going to be able to replace that amount of money without anybody knowing. If you don't say something then you risk someone will find out anyway, which is probably going to be worse than if you told them yourself.
If you choose to tell your parents it's important to think about what you are going to say. Explaining that you've made a mistake is a good first step - and to tell them how it's been making you feel over the months since it first began. They will most likely be disappointed or angry so it's important to accept that now and understand that there might be consequences for what's happened. Although there might be punishment for what you've done, it will probably make you feel a lot better not carrying around this secret.
Owning up to a mistake takes a lot of courage and it's not easy. What can make it a little easier is if you go to your parents with a plan on how you’re going to fix the problem. You're old enough to think about getting a part time job soon - perhaps one you could do on a weekend. Your parents may expect you to pay some or all of the money back so if you go to them with plans of jobs you're going to apply for this might show them you’re serious about making things right.
Thanks for your letter, I hope this has helped. If you need to talk more about this, our counsellors are there for you.
Take care.
Sam
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