my parents keep saying how much i cost them. i get my clothes from primark and i dont ask for alot. its gotten to the poing that they dont want to pay for my school trips, dinner money. and they do pay it but just complain every time they do and it just makes me feel like im just an inconvenience that they have to pay for.
Sam
Hi there,
It's not okay for anyone to make you feel like a burden, whatever their reason. Money is something that affects most people and some families may not have enough money and this can cause arguments and tension. Money's never your responsibility and it's down to your parents to look after the family finances.
Everyone needs money to be able to buy things they need. And as you're going to school and learning, there are lots of things you'll need. One part of being a parent and bringing up children is the responsibility to pay for the things their child needs. This is something that they should know and understand, so it's not okay for them to make you feel bad about that.
When someone makes you feel bad and tells you you're an inconvenience, this is a type of emotional abuse. You don't deserve to be made to feel this way and it's wrong for this pressure to be put onto you. What your parents are doing isn't okay, no matter how tight money is.
You could try talking to your parents and telling them how it makes you feel when they say these things. They may not realise the effect it's having on you and one conversation might make things a lot better. If this doesn't work, you could try talking to your school. Not only will your school be there to support you but they may also be able to help financially with things like school trips and other things you need for your education.
The main thing is that you don't feel like a burden. It's important to feel confident and what's right - and at the moment it sounds like you're being unfairly blamed for something that's out of your control. Having low income doesn't make them bad parents, some people work very hard but don't earn as much as others - and that's not their fault. What's wrong is when they pass blame onto you and I hope my letter has helped you to see this.
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
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