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my parent

my dad keeps on shouting at me my dad is fifty four and drinks alot on a night and he turns aggresive and in the morning i tell him to cut down or eaven better stop drinking cos its puling myn and my dad relationship apart i dont go home on time cos i know if i do im gonna get upset and start crying and then not have any sleep and then lash out at school because im angry .
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

From what you have told me it sounds like your dad's drinking is really affecting you, and you’ve shown a lot of courage to write to me about it.

It sounds like drinking makes your dad aggressive so he shouts at you, and that could be really difficult for you. I want you to know it’s not okay for him to shout at you and it’s not your fault that it happens.

You've been trying to not go home because you know you’ll get upset. I can hear that this is also affecting your sleep and your moods in school. It seems like you want to be able to fix your relationship with your dad because you encourage him to change his drinking but that hasn’t happened so far.

It's important to let you know that a lot of young people live with a parent who drinks and becomes aggressive. Many of them can find it really hard to cope without support. You can get some support from the ChildLine counsellors by phoning them free on 0800 1111, logging on for a 1-2-1 chat or by sending an email.

I’m not sure what happens at school when you lash out and feel angry but I wonder whether talking to an adult you trust at school could be an option for you. It might help them to understand what’s making you feel angry and they may be able to find ways to help you.

You might also like to find out more about an organisation called Alateen who offer support to young people who are affected by a parent that drinks. They have groups in some parts of the UK and a helpline which is open every day of the year from 10am to 10pm. This is their number: 020 7403 0888.

You’re doing really well to start looking for help and I hope that you can find the right help for yourself soon. You deserve to feel happy and safe at home. If you need to talk more you can talk to a ChildLine counsellor by calling 0800 1111, sending an email or logging on for a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,
Sam

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