Ask Sam letter


To Sam

my mums x

when i was 8 my mums x sexully abused me i am now nealy 16 i have 2 brouthers 4 and 8 and x is tacking my mum to court to get the boys it has got realy messy i told mum what happend and s.servise was told they dident beleave me and it went to the police i had to make a statment but it was droped x punched and kicked my mum and my brothers  no one is listnig to us the court is on his side and iam realy scared he will get the boy s he is such a bully and now i had a shock as i found  that i am pregent and the baby is due in 7 weeks that i have come to tumes with and i have told my mum and my nan i am worrid for my mum as the boys are every thin my to the family my nan helps but my mum is all so having a baby in december  wy dont eny one hear us what is going on my brouther is 8 in oct and he is scared his dad will get them as he has been beaten him and even held him under the bath warter he has told pepole this but no one wants to no what can i do if no one wants to no ,from j
Ask Sam


Hello J,

Thank you for getting in touch to tell me what things are like for you at the moment. It’s good to hear that you have been talking to other people about what’s going on, but it sounds like the way some people reacted has made you feel like people haven’t taken what you told them seriously. ChildLine will always take what you tell us seriously and you can have a confidential chat with a counsellor either on the phone or online.

It was brave of you to let other people know about the way your mum’s ex abused you. If you would like more support about coping with this you could talk to a counsellor. You could also look at the message boards to see what other young people have said about their experiences of talking to others about their abuse.

I can see that you care a lot about your family, and feel scared about them being hurt. I’m wondering who else knows that your mum was also hit by her ex. There is an organisation called Women’s Aid who support women who are being abused by a partner, or ex-partner. They also have a website called The Hideout for young people who have experienced this in their family. There is also more information on the ChildLine website about domestic violence.

I’m very concerned by what you said about how your brother is being hurt by his dad. This is physical abuse and against the law. You explained that he has told people and things haven’t changed. Another thing you could think about is talking to your brother about if he would like to speak to ChildLine as children of all different ages do contact ChildLine.

From what you’ve said it sounds like going through court is stressful for you, and for your family. You said that your brother is feeling scared about living with his dad. The views of the children should always be listened to when decisions are being made about which parent they will live with. There is a service called the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (Cafcass for short) that exists to make sure this happens. The court should always listen to what everyone involved has to say, and I’m wondering what makes you feel like they are on his side. Perhaps if you spoke to a ChildLine counsellor, or send us a private email you could tell us more about that.

It’s important that you have enough support while you are pregnant, and also after you have had your baby. There is a lot of information about pregnancy in Explore.  As your baby is due soon maybe you could think about talking to a midwife or health visitor about your worries.

I can see that there is a lot going on in your life at the moment and I’m really pleased that you did decide to write to me. If you talk to a ChildLine counsellor, on the phone or online you could talk more about what is happening and also how you would like things to change.

Take care,


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