Ask Sam letter


To Sam

my mum

im an only child and i have no dad almost 3 years ago my mum had a car crash, ever since then she chagned.
She hits and shouts at me for small reasons
Eg: one day i didnt know i had to do the washing up and she yelled and pulled my hair and hit me.
what should i do? she makes me think to do things i dont want to, but i love her should i report her or something becuase i really hate it.
Ask Sam



I can hear that things have been really tough for you, I’m glad that you’ve written in for support.

It sounds like things have really changed between you and your mum since the car crash. Sometimes something like a crash can make people act differently but nothing excuses the fact that your mum has been hitting you and has pulled your hair. No one has the right to physically hurt you. From what you’ve described it sounds like your mum has become physical abusive towards you. You can read the physical abuse section in Explore to find about a bit more about what this means.

You’ve done really well explaining your mixed feelings about what’s going on. You wrote that you love your mum but you also hate how she treats you. You’re not alone in feeling like this. Many people who have been abused have mixed feelings about the person hurting them, particularly when it is someone they know well. Loving your mum does not mean that you have to put up with her hurting you. It might be that she needs a bit of help to be able to look after your more safely.

You asked whether you should report what’s happening. You deserve to have the support you need to be safe and happy at home. Reporting the situation to someone is certainly one way of asking for that help. You haven’t mentioned whether there is anyone else in your family, like grandparents, or aunts and uncles. Talking to another relative like this might be another thing to try.

If you did want to report what was happening you could do this by contacting social services (their phone number should be in the phone book). The support that they would offer really depends on exactly what’s happening at home.

If you wanted help with talking to a social worker you could talk to an adult you feel you can trust, like a teacher. If a teacher thinks that you are not safe at home, then they have to report what is happening to social services. The counsellors at ChildLine can also support you with contacting social services if you think that would be helpful.

You are welcome to talk with ChildLine about your choices and how you feel about them. You could take it completely at your own pace and make the decision that you feel comfortable with. You are welcome to talk with a counsellor by logging in for a 1-2-1 chat or by ringing 0800 1111. Remember, if there is any time you feel in danger you can ring the police on 999 for immediate help.

Take care,


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