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my mum and dad are splitting up

hi

my mum and dad are splitting after 13 years of marriage it keep happening since this one year when they first said they were splitting up but they work it out and the same thing happend the next year and the year after that but this year they were defanlanty doing it this year i dont know if i should be happy or sad i keep trying to think for the positives but then the bad things apare and i dont know what to do my little brother and sister will be going to a differant school then me as i am not moving schools just house i get really upset about it sometimes and i dont know what to do 

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Sam

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to me at what seems like a really difficult and confusing time for you. I can hear that things have been hard for you for a while and you’ve been really brave to write and say what is going on.

It sounds like over the last few years it has been uncertain what would happen between your parents. From what you’ve said, I can understand that it seems like a shock to you for them to now be definitely splitting up. It seems it’s left you unsure how you’re supposed to feel. It’s important for you to know that there is no right or wrong way for you to feel.

When parents split up it can cause lots of changes such as moving school or moving house, like you described. Change can be difficult to adjust to and it may take some time for you to get used to these new arrangements. Perhaps you could speak to your mum or dad or both of them, and explain how you’re feeling to help them understand what things are like for you in. This could help them to support you in the best way. If you didn’t want to speak to your parents about how you’re feeling, maybe you could speak to another adult you trust who could help you through these changes. You may also want to have a look on our page about Divorce and separation which contains links to other websites that may be of help to you.

You may also like to look at the ChildLine message boards. This is where you can read what young people say about lots of topics including family relationships and separation and divorce to get support from others who may be in similar situations to you. You can also add your own thoughts or start a new thread if you want to.

If you want to speak to a counselor you can do this by calling ChildLine on 0800 1111, having a 1-2-1 chat with a ChildLine counsellor or send us an email.

Take care,

Sam

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